Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
