I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
