New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My pussy is not your playground.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
