i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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