i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
