So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm passing your future prison.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
