Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
