if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
