I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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