he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
