i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
