I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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