Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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