wat bout pragnant strippers??
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
