what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
