I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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