nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
bring money and cleavage
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
