proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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