I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
