she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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