i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
