I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
