I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
