But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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