fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The power of my boobs compel you
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
