Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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