speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
