Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
