Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
