Just fell off a train. Bad.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
