in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
