He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
