Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
