Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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