this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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