try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
