You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
