How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
