"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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