I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
