i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
