honey bunches of taint.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
