she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
