Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
