Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
