I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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