We won't sleep together?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
