yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
