So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
