i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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