Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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